Holding on to Distance

The online world had been our meet-ups for two years now since I left Canada. We are in different continents with different times. If I have to stay late just to ask you ‘How was your day’ I would, even if that means not getting enough sleep for me. We’ve been doing that every day and luckily, it works for our long distance romance. We’re both Filipinos but the problem is, I’m the only one in the Philippines. It was harder than we first thought.

You were my only friend back there. All the other kids were teasing me for being Asian, but because you knew how that feels, you helped me gain confidence. I was short back then and had very dark skin. My hair is frizzy and dry. Well I was eight years old though. I didn’t care what I looked like. But when we became friends and I develop a crush on you, well just a little, it made me insecure about my looks. I tried to put on my mom’s lipstick, I tried every hair product available on store, I bought a new pair of high heels, replace my oversize shirts with a cute floral tube top, put hair bows in my hair everyday and no matter how hard I struggle, I learned to speak in English just so you would like me. Instead, you laughed at me. I asked you why and you answer me the cutest response ever. “You don’t need to be someone else to be noticed. You stand out for what and who you are. Accept it. You’re beautiful”.

From then on, I wasn’t ashamed to show you what I am. We’re on the phone 24/7. We became very close. Every stories I tell make you laugh. I am happy when I’m with you because I don’t need to pretend. When we were in 8th grade, our friendship develops into romance. Well, I have to be honest, I quite expected that. We’re always together and you don’t go out with other girls except me. When I tell you I like someone, you get jealous. Maybe you just really love me and so do I the moment I first met you.

We survived all the bad things being thrown at us. We’re strong baby. Every time I’m with you, I feel home. We promised each other not to give up no matter how hard the situation is. But a devastating news arrived. My grandfather’s gone and we need to go home. I promised you that I’ll be back before we celebrate our first anniversary. But that promise became an unexpected lie. I never came back. Mom had to take care of grandmother. We are staying and not coming back to Canada for a long time.

We said that we’ll get over this together. Distance doesn’t matter as long as our hearts are never apart. We survived the two years of it. But can we still do it? Telling you ‘I miss you’ in calls was never enough. Every time you send a photo, I wish I was there too. When I hear your voice, I fall in love over and over again. Being away from you was never easy. I’m not there to tell those flirty chicks not to go near you. I can’t cheer you on your games. I can’t help you with your home works. I can’t dance with you at prom. I can no longer hold and kiss you. I miss your kisses baby. I miss my home. I miss you.

But baby, I do hope that we’ll continue fighting for our love. Let’s prove that distance can’t break us. Let’s do this. At the perfect time, you and I will be together. I promised. Just hold on my love.

( For my good friend Khiara :) )